What Matters Now: Reflective Questions for Life After a Cancer Diagnosis

Exploring the question, “what matters now?” may help us find what most needs healing in our lives. 

Healing is an inner process through which a person becomes whole. Healing can take place at the physical level, as when a wound or broken bone heals. Emotionally, healing involves recovering from significant traumas, such as the pain of childhood experiences, the end of a marriage, or the loss of a loved one. Mentally, it includes the process of reframing or restructuring negative beliefs we hold about ourselves and the world around us. On a spiritual level, healing can lead us closer to a sense of connection—whether that’s through a deeper relationship with God, a greater appreciation for nature, or finding inner peace and connectedness within ourselves. Healing encompasses more than just the absence of illness; it involves nurturing the body, mind, and spirit together.

Many great physicians and healers throughout history have asked: How can we actively participate in our own healing? The answers often come in the form of more questions—questions that invite deep reflection.

What Do You Truly Want Out of Life?

Larry LeShan, a pioneering psychotherapist, asked powerful questions in his book Cancer as a Turning Point: 

If you could do or be anything in the world for the rest of your life, what would that look like? 

And, 

What is the unique song you were put on this earth to sing?

For some, the answer is immediate and clear. For others, it may take time or deep reflection. The answer doesn’t have to come quickly, but once you have it, LeShan’s follow-up question can serve as a guide: 

Under your current circumstances, what first steps could you take to start living this life?

This path toward discovering and pursuing your true purpose can be an essential part of your healing experience.

What Has Become Important to You?

Another question to ask yourself is: 

Since your diagnosis, what has become important to you? And what things that once felt important are you now ready to let go of?

A cancer diagnosis often triggers a shift in priorities. Things that once consumed our attention may suddenly seem less significant, while values we hadn’t considered before rise to the surface. This process—deciding what to hold onto and what to let go of—can happen again and again as life changes. It may be painful at times, but it’s also an opportunity to realign with what truly matters.

What Choices Would Support Your Healing?

Finally, you might reflect on the following: Given your circumstances, what would you choose in each area of your life?

• What kinds of treatments, both mainstream and complementary, feel right to you?
• What kind of relationships, work, and daily routines would best support your well-being?
• What forms of exercise, relaxation, or hobbies would bring you joy?
• What diet or lifestyle changes would nurture your health?
• What kinds of support would you like from family and friends?

This is about tuning into what feels authentic to you. Many people, especially those who have spent their lives putting others first, may find this process unfamiliar. But exploring what brings you happiness—even the small things—can be both healing and empowering.

Taking the time to explore what physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs best support you can have a profound impact on your healing. It might feel overwhelming at first, but each question you ask brings you one step closer to living a life that feels more aligned with who you truly are and what matters most to you.

Content from Choices in Healing and Michael Lerner’s other works.